I'm Raising a Bulimic Stripper

Aveline has always had this hair-trigger gag reflex, which by all accounts, she inherited from her father. Usually, she only vomited after coughing on some food that brushed her uvula just right. Lately, she has been experimenting with putting her fingers down her throat, and watching mommy's horrified expression as a result.

Now she thinks its funny. If she feels as though she is not getting enough attention, she starts gagging herself, and glaring at me with a half grin. Friday, she started doing this late in the afternoon. Recalling how horrible vomit is to clean, I chased her around our living room, pulling her fingers out and telling her "NO!" This went on for a good twenty minutes. It probably would have continued for the rest of the night, if I hadn't collapsed from exhaustion onto the couch. It only took that small break for the dam to burst. She puked all over the floor and before I could get to her (remember my cumbersome belly) she started dancing in it.

I scooped her up, suppressing gags from the smell myself, and rushed into the kitchen. I placed her in the sink and stripped her and hosed her down. Once I was satisfied that she was clean, I dried her off with a dish towel and put her in the pack and play in the living room so I could deal with the pile of puke. While in baby jail, she started gagging herself again. I quickly cleaned the mess. I chose not to reclothe her since it was so close to suppertime, so I put her back into the living room with just a diaper. I went to the kitchen to throw away one last vomit-soaked towel I had missed and when I returned, I couldn't believe my eyes. She was trotting as fast as she could around the room, diaper in hand. She loves to be naked, as her uncontrollable giggling indicated. She stopped when she realized I was watching, held her diaper up with one hand and gave me an evil grin as she stuck three fingers from her other hand down her throat. I see poles in our future.