Sunday, March 11, 2007

Girl Scouts=The Devil

I have very little will power. I admit it freely. I was not blessed with a stalwart sense of self discipline, especially when it comes to food. Thousands of years ago, my ancestors flourished thanks to this genetic "flaw." Nowadays, normal people sneer at those whose knees weaken by the mere thought of scrumptious sustenance. I don't remember learning the commandment in Sunday School that forbade over-indulgence of chow, but I do remember Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman finding a bloated guy's rotting corpse lying under canopy of pine tree air fresheners, in a movie about the seven deadly sins. Supposedly, gluttony is not godly.

Now, I am far from gluttonous, just serious about my eats. I love many different kinds of food. Sometimes, a bit too much. I enjoy indulging in gourmet meals as well as basic nourishment. It is my drug of choice.

Now I do have some control, as I do not eat everything I see, but even that is challenged during this time of year. A roaming band of cookie brandishing imps are ruining my feeble attempts to keep my calorie consumption in check. It is difficult to resist their temptation when you cannot escape their presence. A few of these imps live in our neighborhood. Dan must avoid all eye contact with coworkers who have spawned these temptresses, lest he feel obligated to buy cookies. My own niece has succumb to the evil, becoming a Girl Scout this year. I couldn't say no to her and before I knew it, my lips had ordered seven (!) boxes to "support" a good cause. That was my rationalization. I was supporting my niece, and young girls with dreams everywhere. Young, evil imps who wish to torture me with luscious Thin Mints and Samoas.

So my house is now a dieter's obstacle course, littered with purple and green boxes that will only make my thighs more thunderous and my arms more jiggly. I am weak. And with two young daughters, and a few nieces, I will probably be fighting this temptation for many years to come. Now if only I could learn that the boxes aren't single serving portions.


Jamie said...

Mmmmm... Tagalongs are my favorite. I thought 2 boxes was a single serving, lol.

BSumner said...

Those little witches got me for 8 boxes this year. (so far)

::::lowering head sheepishly and walking away::::

Sher said...

A box of Thin Mints is in fact a single size portion. FYI, so is a container of Ben & Jerry's Chunkey Monkey. ;)